From the CDC: 10 Reasons You Should Buy My Artwork

The CDC - Center of Disease Control did a study and published these 10 reasons you should buy my artwork:
1. vermin and insects seen fleeing from homes where artwork is placed
2. couch potatoes motivated to go for long, long walks - resulting in the loss of 10-20 pounds where artwork is placed
3. unattractive mates look more and more attractive while standing next to artwork where artwork is placed
4. did I mention that vermin and insects seen fleeing from homes where artwork is placed?
5. people unemployed for decades because ‘their ain’t no jobs’ go out and FIND jobs where artwork is placed
6. grown children who won’t move out because they are ‘trying to find themselves’ suddenly 'find themselves' and move out where artwork is placed
7. mean ‘know it all' in-laws admit ‘you really DO know what is best my love’ and cut their visit short where artwork is placed
8. again, did I mention that vermin and insects are seen fleeing from homes where artwork is placed?
9. crime decreases in the entire city and outlying suburbs where artwork is placed
and finally,
10. ONLY 'true' friends will continue to visit your home where artwork is placed